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Stokes's Bristol Nightclub incident in detail (From: The Comeback Summer by Geoff Lemon)
IF YOU’RE LOOKING for a place where misadventure could begin, you can’t go past Mbargo. The nightclub’s streetfront is painted a purple so bright you’ll see it in your dreams. Strings of giant sequins shimmer in the breeze. Its phonically inventive name is spelt in silver letters that climb its three-storey terrace facade. Inside are strips of burning neon, a few booths, floorboards so marinated in drink that they have an ingredients list. Bristol is a student city on England’s south coast crowded with music and nightlife and street art. This is Banksy’s home town, and the tourism board suggests in rather strong terms that ‘you would be a fool not to see his amazing work firsthand’. The same organisation describes Mbargo as ‘intimate’, which is fair for a place where you can catch an STI standing up. Students cram into its modest dimensions while people with names like DJ Klaud battle for billing with £1.50 drink deals over seven sloppy nights a week. To get a sense of the story about to come, consider that it’s the kind of place open until two o’clock on a Monday morning, and that at two o’clock on a Monday morning, Ben Stokes still thought it had closed too early. The Ashes of 2017–18 had disciplinary bookends. It was after that series that Australia’s two leaders went off the rails in South Africa. It was a few weeks before that Ashes tour that England’s biggest star windmilled his way into his own disaster. In the early hours of 25 September 2017, Stokes and teammate Alex Hales were barred from re-entering Mbargo after a night out on the piss. A Sunday thrashing of an abject West Indies in an ignored series at the fag-end of the season apparently required ample celebration. After arguing with the bouncer and hanging about at the door for a while, they wandered off to find a casino in the hope of more drinking. They’d barely made it around the corner before getting in the middle of a conflict between four locals. As is said on the internet, it escalated quickly. The 26 September reporting was bloodless. Withholding names, police stated that a man ‘was arrested on suspicion of causing actual bodily harm’ while another went to hospital with facial injuries. England’s director of cricket Andrew Strauss separately confirmed that Stokes was the arrestee, adding that he had been released without charge and that Hales had gamely offered to ‘help police with their enquiries’. Administrators had a good chance of hiding behind that investigation, and the next day Stokes was named in the upcoming Ashes squad as expected. But that night the video emerged. Bristol student Max Wilson had shot it on his phone, then offered it to The Sun. What he thought was playing hardball was actually lowball: his opening price of £3000 was snapped up by a tabloid that would have paid ten times that. The Sun went on to make a mint by syndicating the rights worldwide. From a window above the fray, the vision showed six men on the street below performing the muddled choreography of a melee. One was right at the centre of it. One was waving a bottle, one dipped in and out, one tried to calm it. Two others floated around the edges. The central figure was unmistakable: red hair burning even in the streetlight as he launched into a series of blows against two of the men, falling to grapple with them on the ground, then following both across the street, swinging punches the whole way. Hales trailed behind, repeatedly and impotently shouting ‘Stokes! Stop! Stokes! Enough!’ The ECB could fudge issues that existed only in thickets of legalese, but not those captured in moving colour. Stokes was stood down from the next West Indies match, then suspended indefinitely. It emerged that he had broken his hand during the fight, something he’d done twice before while punching objects in dressing rooms. The response in Australia was fierce: Stokes was a thug, a lowlife, a selection that would disgrace England. It was not entirely coincidental that a ban for England’s best player would be handy for the Aussie team, but there was also a cultural split. In England, plenty of people still minimise pub fights as lads letting off steam. In Australia, heavy media coverage as a succession of young men were killed had inverted that tolerance. The discourse now saw any punch as potentially deadly and accordingly reckless. This was more poignant in a cricket context given that David Hookes, the dashing Test batsman and state coach, was killed in 2004 by a pub bouncer’s fist. The PR situation was bad for Stokes as details emerged of the injuries to the men he’d hit, and that one was a young war veteran and father. Stokes wasn’t officially removed from the Ashes squad through October but stayed behind when his teammates left, hoping for police to dismiss the matter in time for a late dash to Australia. His annual contract was renewed on the due date in case that came to pass. Then 29 October brought a twist in the tale. ‘Ben Stokes praised by gay couple after defending them from homophobic thugs,’ ran the headline. Kai Barry and Billy O’Connell had emerged. Not entirely out of nowhere: while Stokes had made no public comment, this story in his defence had initially been leaked to TV host Piers Morgan after the fight, as soon as the video appeared. Police body-camera footage played in court would later show that Stokes had given the same story to the arresting officer on the night. But no-one knew the identities of the fifth and sixth men in the video, and police appeals had turned up nothing. It was The Sun again with the breakthrough. Kai and Billy were perfect for a readership not keen on nuance. ‘We couldn’t believe it when we found out they were famous cricketers. I just thought Ben and Alex were quite hot, fit guys,’ said Kai, who was memorably described as a ‘former House of Fraser sales assistant’. The paper had the pair do a full photo shoot: layering the fake tan, showing off chest waxes, mixing Ralph Lauren and Louis Vuitton into a range of outfits. Their best shot had them standing back to back, heads turned to the camera, in a mirror-image Zoolander moment. Suddenly The Sun was the England team’s best friend. ‘Their claims could lead to the all-rounder being cleared over the punch-up and freed to play in the First Test in Australia next month,’ it gushed, then gave a tasting platter of quotes: ‘We were so grateful to Ben for stepping in to help. He was a real hero.’ ‘If Ben hadn’t intervened it could have been a lot worse for us.’ ‘We could’ve been in real trouble. Ben was a real gentleman.’ Would it be known forever as Kai and Billy’s Ashes? No. While the Bristol boys provided spin for Stokes’ reputation they didn’t influence the police. With charges still pending there was little choice – not given Strauss had previously sacked Kevin Pietersen for being annoying. Stokes remained suspended through the Ashes and a one-day series in Australia, and lost the vice-captaincy. It was January 2018 before the Crown Prosecution Service laid a charge. That charge surprisingly came in as affray, a crime that can carry prison time but is classified as ‘a breach of the peace as a result of disorderly conduct’. The men he had punched, Ryan Ali and Ryan Hale, faced the same count, charged as equal participants in a fight rather than Stokes being charged with assaulting them. Alex Hales was not charged, despite being seen in the video to aim several kicks when Ryan Ali was lying on the ground. Given the underwhelming standing of the offence, Stokes was cleared by the ECB to tour New Zealand, and kept playing until his trial in August 2018, which he missed a Test to attend. None of the three defendants would be convicted. The reasoning behind the charges was never released and was attributed vaguely to ‘CPS lawyers’. The service gave the case to Alison Morgan, a prosecutor of a class known as Treasury Counsel who usually handle serious criminal matters. Morgan had a scheduling clash and never ended up court for the case, but in 2018 and 2019 she would go on to win damages and admissions of libel from The Daily Mail, The Times and The Daily Telegraph variously for incorrectly reporting that she had been responsible for the inadequate and inconsistent charging decisions. Morgan’s successor on the case was Nicholas Corsellis QC, who on the first day of trial was permitted by the CPS to request two assault charges be added against Stokes. ‘Upon further review,’ claimed a CPS statement, ‘we considered that additional assault charges would also be appropriate.’ This was patent nonsense from the service that eight months earlier had chosen the lesser charge. Any lawyer knows that no judge will allow new charges once a trial has begun, because the defence hasn’t had time to prepare. But such a request could deflect criticism of the prosecution service by technically making the judge the one who disallows the charge. Working through the story from the trial and the tape is complicated. You had a Ryan and a Ryan, a Hale and a Hales, a Billy and a Barry and a Ben. You had several versions of events as to who knew whom, who was drinking with whom, who had insulted whom and who had merely engaged in ‘banter’, a word that in modern Britain has to do an unconscionable amount of lifting. The reporting had constantly mixed up the Ryans as to who had which injury, who was in hospital, who had played which part in the fight, and whose mum had which stern words to say about it. Let’s agree that from now Ryan Ali is Ryan One, the firefighter who ended up with a fractured eye socket and a cracked tooth. Ryan Two can be Ryan Hale, the soldier who scored concussion and facial lacerations. Mr Barry and Mr O’Connell are best known per The Sun as Kai and Billy. In scorecard parlance we’ll leave the cricketers as Stokes and Hales. Amid the confusion, Stokes and his lawyers built his case in a straightforward way. The UK legal definition of affray is ‘if a person threatens or uses unlawful violence or force towards another person, which causes another person of reasonable firmness present at the scene to fear for their safety’. That means it doesn’t account for violence that harms a target, but violence that might frighten a theoretical bystander. The wiggle room for Stokes was with ‘unlawful’, because the charge excuses violence in defending oneself or others. This interpretation hinged on the beginning of the video, where Ryan One waves a beer bottle about and takes a swing at Kai. The version from Stokes was that he was minding his own business walking down the street when he heard homophobic abuse. He intervened verbally and was threatened verbally by Ryan One – something that Ryan One denied but that couldn’t be proved or disproved. In fear for his safety Stokes had to nullify that threat by bashing Ryan One before it went the other way. He registered Ryan Two in his peripheral vision as another possible threat, and again had only one recourse. Stokes also had to convince the jury to disregard testimony from Mbargo’s bouncer that he had been looking for a fight. A solid lump of a man, Andrew Cunningham had not enjoyed his patron’s attempts to get back into the club after the bouncer declined an offer of a bribe. ‘He got a bit verbally abusive towards myself. He mentioned my gold teeth and he said I looked like a cunt and I replied, “Thank you very much.” He just looked at me and told me my tattoos were shit and to look at my job.’ Cunningham described these words as coming in ‘a spiteful tone, quite an angry tone’, and said that Stokes still seemed angry as he walked away. These were details the doorman had nothing to gain by inventing, but each of them Stokes denied. By his own accounting he had drunk a beer at the game and three pints at his hotel, then ‘potentially had some Jägerbombs’ along with half a dozen vodkas at the club. He insisted that after all of this he was not drunk. If I may take a moment here to call upon the wisdom of experience – a person who cannot definitively say whether they have had any Jägerbombs has definitely had some Jägerbombs. A Jägerbomb is an experience that does not pass one by. Further to that, a person who says they have ‘potentially’ done something has definitely done that thing and doesn’t want to admit it. A person who has had between 15 and 24 standard drinks in one evening is shitfaced. A person who tries to bribe a bouncer £300 – three hundred quid! – to get into Mbargo – Mbargo! – is beyond shitfaced. If Stokes admitted that he was drunk then the prosecution could say he was out of control. He claimed clear recall of assessing a threat, feeling fear and deciding to protect himself with force. He confidently denied details from the bouncer’s testimony, like using the word ‘cunt’ or mentioning gold teeth. Yet on other details he claimed a ‘significant memory blackout’. He didn’t remember the punch that saw Ryan One taken away by ambulance. He didn’t remember what the Ryans had said to Kai and Billy, only that those words were homophobic. With no head injury, as one of the few people who hadn’t been hit, he had supposedly suffered this memory loss despite being sober. The version from Kai and Billy was compatible but vague: they had been walking along, they ‘heard … shouts’ of abuse from an unspecified source, then Stokes ‘stepped in’ and thus they avoided possible harm. They claimed to have been bought a drink by Stokes at Mbargo, although CCTV showed them meeting outside. The overall implication from both accounts was that the cricketers had been pals with Kai and Billy, while the Ryans as per The Sun’s headline were a roving band of thugs. The reality though is that the Ryans were the ones hanging out with Kai and Billy at Mbargo. Police discussed CCTV from inside the club in questioning and at trial. On that footage the four Bristolians bought drinks for one another, danced together, and Kai was noted to have variously touched Ryan Two’s crotch and Ryan One’s buttock. Ryan One told police that all of this was taken lightheartedly and wasn’t a problem. Indeed, when the Ryans called it a night the other two left with them. This much is clear from footage out the front of Mbargo, which shows Kai and Billy exit the club and start talking with a subdued Hales and a demonstrative Stokes, who are stuck outside. The vision was played in court to determine whether Stokes was antagonistic towards Kai and Billy, as he appears to impersonate them and to throw a lit cigarette their way. More interesting is that after a few minutes the Ryans emerge, and all six actors in the fight video briefly form a prequel in the one frame. Ryan Two pats Billy on the chest in friendly fashion with his right hand before clapping him on the back with his left. He moves past and does the same to Kai before leaving the shot. Ryan One stops to speak to Kai. They lean in for a moment, talking, then Kai turns and they walk out of frame together. Billy hangs around for a few seconds at the door and then looks after them and races to catch up. Stokes and Hales remain outside the club to remonstrate further with the bouncers. Whatever discord develops around the corner is between four men who left amicably together minutes earlier. There’s no way to know what caused that friction. If Ryan One did use homophobic slurs, he might have been drunkenly obnoxious for no reason. He might have had an insecure macho response to some extra flirtation. He might have thought unkindness was funny – ‘banter’ once again. Or he might have said something that was misunderstood, as both Ryans insisted in court that they had not used nor had the impulse to use any abusive language. What clearly didn’t happen was an attack by bigots on random passers-by. This kind of crime is regular enough that an audience understands the horror of it, and this is what was evoked by the public accounts of Stokes, Billy and Kai. All we know is that there was some verbal dispute among the Bristol locals, and that Stokes came along behind them and put himself in the middle of it. Ryan One responded to the interference aggressively and away they went. There are plenty of reasons to look sideways at the idea that Stokes was a saviour. Foremost, neither Kai nor Billy was called upon as witnesses in court. You’d think it would be ideal to have Stokes’ story backed up by those who benefited from his selflessness. But his defence team had developed the impression that the pair had shown a changeable recall of events amid a hard-partying lifestyle, and would be dismantled by the prosecution on the stand. That raises the question of whether The Sun coached their quotes for the 2017 interview. Despite missing court, Kai and Billy clearly enjoyed the attention. In 2018 after the trial they did a follow-up spread in the same paper about how poor Ben had been mistreated. They got a television spot on Good Morning Britain and glowed about his heroism. In 2019 The Sun wheeled them out once more to say that Stokes should get a knighthood. In 2017 they had ‘never watched cricket’ but by 2019 were supposedly volunteering sentences like, ‘He saved us, now he’s saved the Ashes.’ Whether they were paid for these appearances is not known, but the chance to be famous for a day can be lure enough. If you find this cynical, consider that on the night in question, the Bristol boys were so deeply moved and thankful for Ben’s intervention that they left him to be arrested and never attempted to find out who he was. Seconds after the video ended, an off-duty policeman reached the scene. You might think that someone grateful to a saviour would speak on his behalf. Instead, said Kai, ‘it all got a bit scary so we walked off. It was too much for me and we went to Quigley’s takeaway for chicken burgers and cheesy chips.’ They didn’t give their hero a thought for over a month while police issued multiple appeals for witnesses. As for Stokes, he told his arresting officer that ‘his friends’ had been attacked. After three minutes of chat outside a nightclub, these friends were so dear to him that he has never contacted them again: not after the newspaper piece, not after the verdict. He didn’t want to see how they were or thank them for their support. He didn’t mention them by name in his solicitor’s statement after the trial. The Stokes defence rested on Ryan One’s bottle, which he had carried out of Mbargo to finish a beer, not to use in a Sharks versus Jets amateur production. But once he turned it over to hold it by the neck it became a weapon. Intent and interpretation can change the material nature of things. Part of Stokes’ justification in court was that the bottle implied that the two Ryans might have ‘other weapons’ hidden away. You can understand how a jury could decide that created doubt. Not being convicted, though, doesn’t give the contents of the video a big green tick. It does not, as his lawyer claimed, vindicate Stokes. Looking in detail, Ryan One is belligerent but his movements telegraph a bluff. Hales is the person he’s gesturing at, but they’re several metres apart when Ryan One cocks his arm ostentatiously, showing off the bottle rather than bracing to swing. He skips forward but Hales skips back and Ryan One doesn’t follow. Kai stretches out an arm to impede Ryan One, who has a drunken stumble, nearly eats pavement, then staggers towards Kai and hits him in the back. That hand is still holding the bottle, but his strike is a side-arm cuff on a soft part of the body. It’s all pretty tame. This is where Stokes gets involved. Having moved across to protect Hales, he now takes three large steps to run around Kai and booms his first punch at Ryan One. They fall to the ground and the bottle clinks away. Stokes gets to his feet to punch down at the fallen man, while Hales arrives to kick him ineffectively then runs off across the street for some unknown reason. Ice-cream van? Stokes is soon back in the grapple having his shirt pulled up to show off his Durham tan. Ryan Two steps in for the first time to pull Stokes away, prompting a couple more random punches at this new target, then Stokes trips backwards over Ryan One and sprawls in the street. Hales chooses this moment to return and aim some solid kicks at the head of the man on the ground. Nothing so far is a triumph of moral philosophy or the pugilistic arts. But if it all stopped here, perhaps you could say it was somewhere approaching fair. Ryan One has behaved like a turnip and it’s not an entirely unjust world that would give him a whack across the chops. The antagonists have disentangled, Stokes has some distance, it’s time to dust off and go home. Ryan Two steps forward for this purpose with his palm raised in conciliatory style and says, ‘Settle down, stop.’ So Stokes punches him. It’s roughly his fifth punch overall, and he really winds up into this one. He misses so hard that he stumbles away into the shadows of the shop awnings along the road. Hales starts shouting for him to stop. Ryan Two backs into the street, still holding his palm up. Stokes closes on him from about five metres away, six large steps, to where Ryan Two is standing on his own. Stokes pushes him a couple of times, as Ryan Two keeps trying to placate him and saying ‘Stop.’ Stokes throws his sixth punch, largely missing as his target ducks. Ryan Two keeps pulling away and reversing, into the middle of the street now. Stokes follows him, grabbing his sleeve to drag him back. By this point Ryan One has found his feet and walked around behind his friend. Both of them are in the same line of sight for Stokes, and both are backing away. Stokes aims his seventh and his eighth punches, which Ryan Two tries to deflect, as Hales walks up behind Stokes to grab him. Stokes yanks away from his friend and switches to Ryan One instead, taking seven paces to grab him before throwing his ninth punch of the night. He grabs again; Ryan One blocks that arm and pushes himself back away from Stokes. Ryan Two again intercedes, putting himself between the two with his palms up and his arm extended. Stokes throws his tenth punch, a right-hander at the face of Ryan Two, then shoves him backwards. Ryan Two backs away once more, four paces. Stokes follows, steadies, lines up, then launches his strongest punch yet, his eleventh, a proper right hook from a solid base, one that cracks across the man’s head and gives him concussion. Ryan Two ends up flat on his back in the middle of the street, his hands still outstretched for a moment in useless protest until they twitch and drop to the blacktop. Stokes isn’t done. He once more shoves away the restraining Hales and follows Ryan One, who keeps backing away saying, ‘Alright, alright, alright.’ Five more paces from Stokes before another blow at the man’s head. Kai and Billy are now standing over the poleaxed Ryan Two. The video ends, but seconds later Stokes will punch Ryan One hard enough to knock him out too, before off-duty cop Andrew Spure arrives on the scene to bring down the curtain. When the body-camera footage kicks in some minutes later, Stokes is in handcuffs but Ryan One is still laid out in the street. Ryan Two has regained consciousness, folded his shirt under his friend’s head and is asking police for an ambulance. ‘At this point, I felt vulnerable and frightened. I was concerned for myself and others.’ This was how Stokes described that sequence to the court. An elite athlete with years of gym work and training to snap a bat through the line of a ball with astounding power and precision, swinging fists as hard as he can at men with none of those advantages. Punching so hard that he breaks his hand, and repeatedly shoving away a friend so he can punch some more. Frightened and threatened by two targets shouting ‘Get back!’ and ‘Stop!’ The off-duty officer testified that Stokes ‘seemed to be the main aggressor or was progressing forward trying to get to’ Ryan One, who was ‘trying to back away or get away from the situation’. The student who filmed the video can be heard on the tape at one stage exclaiming ‘Fuck!’ and testified that it was because ‘I felt a little bit sorry about the lad that had been punched and it looked like he had his hands up’. That tallied with the prosecutor’s depiction of ‘a sustained episode of significant violence that left onlookers shocked at what was taking place’. The defendant stuck to his strategy. ‘No, my sole focus was to protect myself.’ All up, in the 33 seconds of footage after he falls over, Stokes takes 35 steps forward to keep hitting two men who keep trying to get away. Not once is he hit back. After the verdict, Stokes’ solicitor positioned him as the victim. It had been ‘an eleven-month ordeal for Ben … The jury’s decision fairly reflects the truth of what happened that night … He was minding his own business … It was only when others came under threat that Ben became physically engaged. The steps that he took were solely aimed at ensuring the safety of himself and the others present …’ The statement was impossibly self-righteous and self-absorbed. If there was anyone to feel sorry for it was Ryan Hale, the second of our two Ryans. He’s the one who emerged from the club with a friendly arm around the shoulder for Kai and Billy. He’s the one who interposed himself to end the fight, then kept putting himself back in the firing line, trying to calm an intimidating stranger while dodging blows. For his show of restraint he got laid out regardless, concussed in the street, then was issued a criminal charge equal to that of the man who hit him, and described in national media as a violent bigot in an untested story to support that man’s defence. Lawyers for Ryan Two made a more convincing post-trial statement, noting that Kai and Billy, ‘neither of whom were relied upon by the prosecution or the defence team for Mr Stokes, have taken the opportunity to speak with various media outlets about the alleged homophobic abuse that they received in the early hours of September 25. Mr Hale has passionately denied this allegation throughout the course of this case,’ it continued. ‘It is upsetting to Mr Hale that although he was acquitted, the accusation that he was the author of such abuse remains. Both Mr Hale and Mr Ali were knocked unconscious by Mr Stokes, and although Mr Stokes has been acquitted of an affray, Mr Hale struggles with the reasons why the Crown Prosecution Service did not treat him as a victim of an unlawful assault.’Good question. Avon and Somerset police were the investigating force, and they were frustrated by the decision. Ryan Two was filmed clearly not hurting anyone, but police were instructed by the CPS to proceed with a charge. Hales (the cricketer) was filmed fighting but ‘a decision was made at a senior level of the CPS’ not to proceed. Police expected Stokes to be charged with assault but the CPS declined. It doesn’t take a wild cynic to think that placing the same lukewarm charge on three men for vastly divergent behaviour might ensure that none would be convicted, even as the trial would maintain the pretence that a defendant of influential standing had not been given a free pass. A couple of years down the line, the original interview with Kai and Billy has disappeared. All traces have been scrubbed from The Sun website, its social media history, and even from the Wayback Machine internet archive. Given its headline of ‘homophobic thugs’ and text that names Ryan Two but not Ryan One, the libel liability isn’t hard to spot. Later interviews with Kai and Billy take the passive voice – they ‘suffered homophobic slurs outside a Bristol nightclub’. The article that was once claimed to exonerate brave Ben Stokes now links only to a missing content page, with a picture of a dropped ice-cream cone and the phrase ‘legal removal’ inserted into the web URL. In terms of consequences, Stokes missed one tour. When he resumed his career in January 2018, the Australians hadn’t yet ruined theirs. Their year-long bans looked much more stringent. But the Stokes case dragged on in other ways. With no criminal liability, the Australians confessed promptly enough for the sporting world to give them the full length of the lash. Their situation was ugly but there was closure. Stokes got stuck in legal stasis, unable to be fully backed or condemned. Instead his issue was always present, a browser full of open tabs that the ECB swore they would read any day now. Through 2018 Stokes was back but he wasn’t back, in the sunglasses and finger-guns sense. In his return one-day series he nearly cost England a match with 39 from 73 balls in Wellington. His first Test hit was a duck as England got rolled in Auckland for 58. At Trent Bridge while Stokes was injured, England posted a world record 481 against Australia. With Stokes three weeks later at the same ground they made 268. He crawled to 50 from 103, the second-slowest any Englishman had reached that milestone in 20 years. That span covered Alastair Cook’s whole career. It was apologetic batting, acting out responsibility via the scorecard. Stokes was creeping back into the team like he’d been kicked out in a blazing row and was hoping to tip-toe to the sofa. It was December 2018 before the ECB disciplinary committee ruled on him and Hales. In a ‘remarkable coincidence’, wrote Simon Heffer in The Telegraph, ‘the punishment both players faced in terms of bans from playing at international level was covered by the amount of games they had already missed when dropped by England’s selectors, in the furore that followed the incident’. The verdict compounded the omissions around the case by not addressing the violence at its heart. Nor did Stokes, apologising only ‘to my team-mates, coaches and support staff’, and then ‘to England supporters and to the public for bringing the game into disrepute’. The implicit next step was to rebuild that reputation. It might have been easier had his court defence not meant that he wasn’t game to admit any fault at all. It might have been easier if he or his advisers had been willing to change tack once the trial was done. Imagine a world where Stokes had stood outside court and apologised for overreacting, for the injuries he’d caused, and for the time and energy he had sucked out of other people’s lives. That would have been a show of responsibility beyond a scorecard. When the time came around to assess forgiveness, it might have meant forgiveness was deserved.
Perpetual Debt, Gambling Addict, Big Win, Unbanked.
Hi PersonalFinanceUK, I hope I can get some advice here, long time lurker and using a throwaway to protect my identity for obvious reasons. I'm a gambling addict, I've been gambling for as long as I can remember, it started small but for the last 15 years it's consumed all of my money, from the day I get paid, I pay my bills and i buy myself gift cards for the supermarket so I can survive a month then that same day I either win up to around £15,000 or loose the lot, but by the second week in the month I can promise you all my money will be gone until my next pay day. I earn 60k p/a out of London, I had nothing to my name and I know gambling is bad for me and has destroyed my life until now. Over the year's i've ran up debts, I don't really have a clue how much I owe, looking at my credit files I think around £30,000 many times I've managed to get a basic bank account and get it overdrawn some how to the point that It's useless to me and eventually gets sent to collections then closed. I've been in a position where I can't open up a bank account for the last two years. Up until about 4 months ago I was using Transferwise as my main account but they closed it on me as using an account for solely gambling transactions is against their ToS. Since then I am using a pre-paid card to receive my salary and spending. I've tried approaching banks about getting an account with them and i essentially get a "Computer says No". I have checked I do not have any fraud markers against my name with CiFaS of the other agency which name currently escapes me. I've never been ready to change until the thing happened to me that I always wanted but never expected to happen. I have a cheque from a well known land based casino for more than I could expect to earn for the rest of my life, or even more money that I would have expected to earn in my career. But I'm unbankable. Literally no bank will touch me and I guess I deserve this but I don't know where to go from here. I'm at the point now that I want to turn my life around, I have spoken to my account managers at all the casino's I play at and explained my situation and joined SENSE and GAMSTOP. From this point on I can't gamble anymore, and I'm seeking help for the mental health side of things. I want to pay off my debts and start again property, It's like I have every penny back I ever paid into casino's and then some but I'm unable to touch it. Can anyone point me in the direction on where I can go from here on how I can gain banking facilities again? I assume that there must be a bank that will take the circumstances into account rather than just running the numbers on a screen.
Prince Rainier III (1923-2005) Rainier’s mother, Princess Charlotte, was actually illegitimate. Her father Louis II, getting older and with no legitimate children, legitimized her and made her his heir. She never took the throne, and in fact renounced her rights to her son, Rainier, the day before his 21st birthday. Rainier became the Sovereign Prince of Monaco upon the death of his grandfather in 1949. During WW2, Rainier served in the Free French Army. During the 40s and 50s he was in a long term relationship with the French film actress Gisele Pascal. Rainier’s sister, Princess Antoinette, wanted her own son to ascend to the throne, and spread rumors that Pascal was infertile. The rumors along with her treatment by the press and public ended their relationship. After the war Monaco, a country who made its money primarily as a gambling origin, was in crisis as wealthy Europeans found their funds diminished after the war. To restore Monaco’s treasury Rainier decided to promote Monaco as a tax haven, and he personally took control of SBM (the company who owns the Monte Carlo Casino, Opera, and Hostel de Paris) in 1964. Prince Albert still retains a large share of the company and profits from it today. Marriage: Everyone knows this one. Rainier married American film star Grace Kelly in 1956. Their marriage is rumored to have been turbulent. It is said that Grace struggled with adjusting to royal life, regretted ending her film career, and that Rainier had extramarital affairs. Her children have stated that though she was a loving mother, they spent more time with nannies than with their parents. Grace's dress is iconic, but here you go if you want to revisit some photos from that day. Rainier smoked up to 60 cigarettes per day, and in the last years of his life his health steadily declined. On March 8th, 2005 he entered the hospital for a lung infection and by the end of the month he was on a ventilator suffering from renal and heart failure. On March 31st he officially announced his son Albert, as regent, and on April 6th he died. The Constitution Monaco’s constitution stated that Monaco is a constitutional monarchy ruled by the hereditary princes of the Grimaldi. If the reigning prince were to die without leaving a male heir, Monaco, according to the treaty, would be incorporated into France. In 2002, realizing he had a 43 year old bachelor son, Rainier amended the constitution to allow the crown to pass to his daughters should Albert not marry. Grace, Princess of Monaco (1929-1982) Grace was born in Philadelphia to an affluent and influential family. Her father was an Olympian and a Democratic nominee for Mayor of Philadelphia and was appointed by President Roosevelt as National Director of Physical Fitness. Her mother taught physical education at the University of Pennsylvania and coached women’s athletics at Penn. Her Uncle, George Kelly, was a Pulitzer prize winning dramatist, screenwriter, and director and used his influence to gain Grace admission to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York. Grace became one of the biggest movie stars of her generation. In 1955 she was sent to the Cannes Film Festival and invited to appear in photos with Prince Rainier. After a year-long courtship, they were married in 1956. Grace was not allowed to continue her acting career after her marriage. She instead devoted herself to her role as Princess, become heavily involved with the Red Cross of Monaco and the Rainbow Children Coalition. On September 13, 1982, Kelly was driving back to Monaco after spending time at her country home. During the drive she had a stroke, lost control of her vehicle, and drove off the mountainside. She died a day later. An article on their relationship Prince Albert II (b. 1958) Prince Albert is one of the wealthiest royals in the world with a net worth at more than $1B. He attended Amherst College in Massachusetts, studying political science, economics, music, and English literature, and completed his education with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Political Science. He toured Europe in 1979 as part of the Amherst College Glee Club. Albert competed in the bobsleigh for five consecutive Winter Olympics on behalf of Monaco, and was their flag bearer at the 1988, 1994, and 1998 Olympics. He is also a judo black belt. He became Prince of Monaco when his father died in 2005. Marriage: Prior to his marriage his status as a bachelor was a hot topic of discussion. He was known to date well-known fashion models and actresses, however at age 53 had never married. It was rumored that Albert was gay, something he expressed great frustration with in the press. In 2006 he attended the opening ceremony of the Torino Olympics with South African swimmer Charlene Wittstock. They were engaged in 2010, and married in 2011. There are rumors that Charlene tried to flee the country the day before their wedding. It is reported that the future bride, after discovering Albert may have fathered yet another child during their relationship, attempted to flee as many as three times before their wedding, however was always intercepted at the airport. It is also said she attempted to seek refuge at the South African embassy, and that officials in Monaco ended up hiding her passport so she could not leave the country. Moreover, during their wedding, Charlene openly cried at parts, and Prince Albert was caught on camera begging her to kiss him. Honestly, she looked pretty miserable the whole time. The palace has denied all of these claims. During their honeymoon, they stayed in separate hotels Here's everything you ever needed to know about their wedding Watch it Prince Albert is passionate about the environment and an avid sportsman. Prince Albert speaks French, English, German, and Italian. He speaks English with basically no accent thanks to his American mother. Illegitimate Children In 2005, the day before Prince Rainier died, Albert publicly acknowledged he had fathered a son out of wedlock. In 2006, he confirmed he had also fathered a daughter. These children were barred from the line of inheritance because of a 2002 constitutional amendment requiring an heir’s parents to be married. Alexandre (b. 2003) Alexandre’s mother (Nicole Coste) was a flight attendant for Air France and met Prince Albert when he was a passenger on a flight. He asked for her number, the beginning of a years-long affair. The relationship ended at the insistence of Prince Rainier. Albert visited Alexandre and Nicole often, however when he refused to acknowledge Alexandre publicly, Nicole sold an interview and pictures to the media. Albert was in mourning for his father and made no public comment, but later did acknowledge paternity. Alexandre and Nicole live in France at an estate given to them by Albert. Jazmin (b. 1992) Jazmin’s mother, Tamara, met Albert while working as a waitress. Albert knew of Jazmin and visited her, however did not acknowledge her publicly until she was in high school to protect her identity. In 2006 the French magazine Voici published photographs of Jazmin and her mother on a visit to Monaco, outing her as Albert’s daughter. She has attended events with Albert and Charlene, and is listed as a sponsor for her father’s royal foundation. An interview with Jazmin Princess Charlene (b. 1978) Born in Zimbabwe, Charlene’s family relocated to South Africa in 1989. She represented South Africa at the 2000 Sydney Olympics, finished fifth in the 4x100 meter relay. Albert and Charlene met at the Mare Nostrum swimming competition in Monaco in 2000, however were not seen together until 2006. Charlene converted to Roman Catholicism for her wedding, and has learned French and Monegasque after her move to Monaco. She is an ambassador for the Special Olympics, patron of the South African Red Cross, and is passionate about sport. In recent news, she completed “the crossing” water bike challenge, a 180 kilometer water bike race for charity. An interview with Charlene and Albert on the 1st birthday of their twins Albert and Charlene have 2 children: Hereditary Prince Jacques *twin* (b. 2014) Princess Gabriella *twin* (b. 2014) Gabriella was born 2 minutes before her brother, however because of the constitution her brother will inherit the throne. They are super sweet together and you see them at events often. Princess Caroline of Hanover (b. 1957) Caroline is the eldest child of Rainier and Grace Kelly, however because of the constitution her brother, Albert, sits on the throne of Monaco. She served as de facto first lady of Monaco until the marriage of Albert and Charlene. Until the birth of her niece and nephew she was heir presumptive to the throne, although she had only held that title since 2005 after the change of the constitution to include female heirs. Caroline received her French baccalaureat in 1974, and received a degree in Philosophy from Sorbonne University. She is fluent in French, English, Spanish, German, and Italian. Her hobbies include horseback riding, swimming, and skiing. Marriages:
Marriage 1: Philippe Junot
Married Phillippe, a Parisian banker, in 1978. The couple divorced in 1980 with no children.
Marriage 2: Stefano Casiraghi
Married Stefano in 1983, the sportsman heir to an Italian industrial fortune. The two had to marry in a civil ceremony rather than a religious ceremony because Caroline, a Catholic, was divorced. Caroline was 3 months pregnant at the time of their wedding. They have three children:
Note: The Casiraghi’s are all very beautiful and very fashionable but I don’t want to go much into them here because they are so far down the line of succession. They’re fun to follow for their fashion if you have the time to check them out.
Marriage 3: Prince Ernst August of Hanover
Married Ernst August, a Prince, in 1999. They have one daughter, Princess Alexandra. Caroline is thus a Princess twice-over, through her family and through her husband. She and Ernst August have been separated since 2009 however are still legally married, thus she retains the title of Princess Caroline of Hanover. Read about all of her weddings here See her speaking in English around 12:00 here Princess Stephanie (b. 1965) Stephanie was in the vehicle with her mother when Grace died. She suffered a fracture of the neck. She has studied classical dance and piano, and competed in gymnastics and horse riding. She interned at Christian Dior and debuted as a model in 1984. She has a swimwear and perfume line, and owns cafes and stores in both Monaco and Barcelona. She also has sold more than 2 million copies of her song, Ouragan, and sold 1.5M copies of her album Besoin. She recorded “In the Closet” with Michael Jackson, however is listed as “mystery girl” in the credits. Marriages/Relationships:
Marriage 1: Daniel Ducruet
Stephanie married her former body guard, Daniel Ducruet, in 1995. When Rainier learned of their relationship Daniel was not only still his employee, but had a pregnant girlfriend too. Stephanie gave birth to their two children “out of wedlock” because Rainier refused to grant permission for them to marry, however eventually relented. The two divorced a year later after Ducruet was photographed naked with a stripper. Read more They have two children:
Stephanie met elephant trainer (yeah, you read that right) when she presented him with the award for “best animal tamer” at the Monaco Circus Festival in 1997. Franco, a decade older than Stephanie, was married with two children at the time. Franco left his family for Stephanie, moving her and her three children into his circus caravan in Zurich. Marrying in 2001, their relationship lasted 18 months until their divorce. An interview with Stephanie in English in 1990 Why is he a Prince and not a King? From vogue: It goes back deep into the history of Monaco. Monaco has always been a tiny nation, and, for protection, allied itself with (or, at some points, was flat-out annexed by) big powerful countries, with big powerful rulers—aka kingdoms, or, a nation ruled by a king or queen. So Monaco’s rulers styled themselves as prince and princess. That, by definition, made the nation a principality, or one ruled by prince or princess. Regardless, Albert actually plays a bigger role in the day to day operations of the country than most of his European peers. Legislative power is divided between the Prince who initiates the laws, and the National Council who votes on them. Executive power is retained by the Prince, and he has full judiciary powers. Jewels See their tiara collection I think the Ocean Tiara, gifted to Charlene for her wedding, is particularly interesting. You either love it or you hate it. The Grimaldi Curse What do you think?
48 points: jesseaknight's comment in In the show St. Elsewhere, a character in the finale is shown to have thought of the whole series, which means he also made up all the shows that had crossovers with St. Elsewhere. This expands into the shows that were mentioned in the shows. There is at this point 419 shows in this universe
44 points: Derosa6037's comment in the longest single set at the laugh factory lasted 7h and 34m (by Dane Cook in 2008).
43 points: astronoob's comment in Margaret Hamilton, NASA's lead software engineer for the Apollo Program, stands next to the code she wrote by hand that took Humanity to the moon in 1969.
42 points: rus_reddit's comment in Rand Paul was the national debt for halloween in 2015. He said it was a very scary costume.
40 points: thejesiah's comment in Close Encounters of the Third Kind Geocache in Northern Italy
Debt free after nearly a decade of Gambling, a new life and new mindset.
I was contemplating posting but I hope someone might benefit from this as I have from this subreddit, I have read a few posts with similar stories and they have kept me going when things got a little shaky. Started Gambling at 17/18 – I had an apprentice job and for my age it was a decent salary. Safe to say I did not know the value of money and was led into the bookies by someone I knew, that’s how it all started, it was always the roulette machine for me. I stopped going with the person who introduced me and started going by myself. I was trapped for 9 years, in the ever-vicious cycle of gambling. I’ve had highs and low lows, In the last 3 years, it escalated from bookies to Casino, more of a rush and higher risks. Towards the end of 2017 I made a silly amount in one night 5 figures(casino), close to what I made in a year around £30k. And Lost it in a space of two weeks my whole life revolved around gambling, the best I managed to do by then was stay away for 3 months, but after I had a bit of savings I thought yes, I had it under control and would go back only to spiral out of control and loose it all again this happened several times. I had payday loans, credit cards, and a bank loan. I defaulted and my credit score ended up really bad. My total debt was around £20k. I joined step change, around 2017 and set up regular payments, which was meant to be affordable for me, I didn’t stick with it and I flaked a few times, needing to restart my DMP with Step-Change (debt management plan). In the last two years however I stuck it out, I had some gambling incidents, but going from gambling every pay day to only twice a year is a significant improvement in my eyes. The amounts I played increased every time and I felt I needed to play larger amounts. I am 27 Now, and I cleared my last debt this month, next month I will be paid and I don’t have any debts for the first time in 9 years it feels a little strange and surreal. (exception paying for a web-development course) Gambling for me, kept me in a mental trap, I felt powerless once I was in its embrace. The debt was like an anchor holding me captive surrounded by guilt and shame. I am looking to change careers, into tech (web-development) to start with, mostly self-thought. I Still feel I need to get to better grips with money at times I feel guilty/un-comfortable spending money. As in the past all I used to do was spend it on gambling without hesitation. Next steps, save for emergency fund 3-6 months, then save for mortgage (LISA) I enjoy hiking and exploring new places so I will look to add one new place a month. Thanks to my Family and friends who supported me throughout. This site has also been really helpful https://debtcamel.co.uk/ I do have a few questions, how do you spend without feeling guilty about your purchase. How do you combat the idea you need to make up for all those lost years, I am trying to avoid saving really hard and being frugal i need to find the balance. Lastly Thank in advance for any advice.
49 points: jesseaknight's comment in In the show St. Elsewhere, a character in the finale is shown to have thought of the whole series, which means he also made up all the shows that had crossovers with St. Elsewhere. This expands into the shows that were mentioned in the shows. There is at this point 419 shows in this universe
45 points: Derosa6037's comment in the longest single set at the laugh factory lasted 7h and 34m (by Dane Cook in 2008).
42 points: astronoob's comment in Margaret Hamilton, NASA's lead software engineer for the Apollo Program, stands next to the code she wrote by hand that took Humanity to the moon in 1969.
42 points: thejesiah's comment in Close Encounters of the Third Kind Geocache in Northern Italy
41 points: rus_reddit's comment in Rand Paul was the national debt for halloween in 2015. He said it was a very scary costume.
38 points: srone's comment in The New BMW X6 Has Light-Absorbing 'Vantablack' Paint
37 points: SlideNERD's comment in The head of a tapeworm under an electron microscope
37 points: wtfisthisnoise's comment in Is U.S. income tax invalid because Ohio wasn’t legally a state when the 16th amendment was ratified?
36 points: _Foy's comment in Ways the Great Lakes try to Murder Ships - illustrated
36 points: bigtcm's comment in My immigrant Chinese parents make tamales every year.
LONGEVITY Complete a LifeComplete a full life All you have to do for this one is die. You probably have it by now, but if you're super attached to your first Bitizen, you can always save your Bitlife and play somebody else wastefully or hold out until they pass. OctogenarianSee your 80th birthdayNonagenarian90th birthdayCentenarian100th birthdaySuper-centarian110th birthdayMega-centarian120th birthday Get on a healthy diet and garden and meditate twice a year. I like Nutrisystem. It's expensive, but I have advice for managing that below... Strong GenesAchieve a 500-year generationLong Lineage1000-year generationLiving Legacy5000-year generation Never don't have kids. I like leaving everything to the youngest child and playing as them, but that won't make your kids happy with you or your heir. Your call. Either way, it helps to have a couple Bitlifes going in case you get tired of living carefully. Sometimes you're gonna want to be more reckless, you know? WEALTH MillionaireBecome a millionaireMy Second MillionAchieve a net worth of $2m Now that we have Royalty and Sports, this is a lot easier. Traditionally, if you're hot (95%+), drop out of high school and get your GED ($1k, you can do that in a couple years of dog walking/freelance gigs) and wait for a singer or actor career. If not, work hard in school and go to the gym often. Check your parents' stats and if they're generous make sure you pass your drivers test (maybe even ask if you can get a nicer one! immediately sell your car, they lose value fast) and take a martial art. It's much cheaper if they pay for it ($1K per tier in some countries) and gets you in good shape. If you're athletic, grind at a sport from middle school onwards. If you're not, try some athletic-adjacent clubs and go to the gym and for walks often. Pets count as additional walks which you can take from age 8+. When you're in good shape you can get a soccer scholarship (which can become a/)or a professional sports contract. More sports tips below, same with other careers. Basically try to get famous, not through politics. Or be hot and marry rich/have rich parents who die/be royal. MultimillionaireAchieve a net worth of $10mRichNet worth of $20mSuper RichNet worth of $50mStinking RichNet worth of $100m Get a couple million first, then invest it in real estate. Or do ads if you're famous and it won't ruin your career. Helps to be big on social media for influence on that stuff. Fix up 1M+ houses and flip them when they've hit a value of 2 or 3 million. If you've got great karma or you're a religious figure of some kind, exorcise some mansions. You can do it all that way, or keep grinding careers. BitionaireAchieve a net worth of $1b It's hard to get here from 0. Helps to leave everything to your youngest kid before you die after living a long, fruitful life. You can let your kid "take over" your assets at any time without tax now, that's the best way to do it. Then as soon as they're 18 make them famous/invest in real estate and repeat. CAREER ActorBecome an actor Be hot. You can drop out at 16 and get your GED for $1k (ask your parents for money or do freelance gigs for a couple of years). If you're not, go to the gym and for walks often. Pets count as additional walks which you can take from age 8+. Grind at a sport in school if you can to keep your health well and get plastic surgery at 18. Generally if your appearance stats are low it's either a nose job or liposuction that will fix it. Always go to the best plastic surgeon. Marry rich if you have to or work for a couple years if you have to, but start the career as soon as you can. Always work 5 more hours a week than required and compliment your supervisor if their coolness is high. Sleep with people in Hollywood (bosses coworkers etc). Your spouse/parent will generally be mad if you're in rude magazines, so hold off on dating unless they're cool or make them deal with it. Airplane PilotBecome an airline captain Grind in school and keep your mental health well. No drugs but drink if you feel like it, just make sure you can go to AA or whatever. Always work 5 more hours a week than required and compliment your supervisor if their coolness is high. If you're rich and you've inherited an airplane or you can afford lessons, take them. Go to University for a science thing that isn't biology lol. Start your Pilot Apprentice job. At Inner PeaceWork 75 years as a monk Follow my longevity tips above and don't party or drink or do drugs. Always be honest. Meditate. Don't date. CandywriterWork for Bitlife Be born in Tampa, United States. Go to university for Information Systems. You'll get the achievement right away when you're hired. CEOBecome a CEO Go to school for Finance. Get a job. Work hard every year. DentistBecome a dentist Go to university for biology, then dental school. Work hard every year. DoctorBecome a doctor Go to university for biology, then medical school. Work hard every year. Fire ChiefBecome a fire chief Stay in good shape. Work hard every year. Jack Of All TradesHave 10 careers in one life Work at retail and food service jobs for less than a year, then go to university to get even more opportunities. Keep going for different paths. JudgeBecome a judgeLawyerBecome a lawyer Go to school for english. Go to law school. Work hard every year. Last ResortSeduce your boss to save your job Be hot. Work fewer hours than required at your job. Make sure your supervisor is attracted to your gender and low professionalism. When your boss tries to fire you, seduce them. People Person Start with your less popular coworkers and work your way up. Pay attention to their stats so you know what they want. Get hard-to-get people with Bitlife Bitizenships ($5). Combat Armed & DangerousKill someone with a learned martial art move Get to the top level of a martial art, (especially in prison) pick someone old to attack. Start a fight with them. Midieval AttackGet attacked with a midieval weapon Kinda chance. Just keep picking fights. You can get into a lot of fights if you're rude at nightclubs or to people on the street. Sometimes if you attack your loved ones or enemies with a weapon they'll kill you with a sword or something. No GrasshopperEarn the top belt in a martial art Each martial art has 10 tiers. They can cost $1k+ if you're an adult so if you've got generous parents take advantage. Sensei SanEarn the top belt in every martial art Have health above 50% when you take a martial arts lesson. Follow above tips. Parents will probably only pay for one set of lessons, so pay for the other arts yourself as an adult. At $10k per martial art, it will probably cost you $40k-$50k. Disease AddictedSustain 3 addictions at once Play Blackjack or go to the horse races often with mid-tier mental health. Get addicted to pills or some other hard non-psychedelic drugs. Start drinking last b/c it'll kill your health. Try not to let your Bitizen get depressed or you might die, lol. All addiction is dangerous so it may take a few tries. Bubonic PlagueContract the bubonic plague Have low health and luck out. I got it in the UK. Foam at the MouthContract rabies Try to take home every wild animal you see. One might bite you. If you succeed, take it to the vet. If it doesn't have rabies, release it. If it does, don't treat it! Take it home and bathe it until it bites you. SicklyContract 10 diseases in one life Best if you're not vaccinated, but just have mid-tier health and be really social. All afflictions count. Successful RehabHave rehab cured at a rehab center Go to fancy rehab if you can afford it. Do it from your military deployment to go AWOL. WitchcraftGet cured of a disease by the witch doctor Eye of newt and cow tongue are iffy. Always start with health at 100. They've fixed cancer and sickle cell for me. Entertainment BitBoiWatch Bijuu Mike on YouTubeBTS ARMYGo to a BTS concert Keep asking friends to watch YouTube/go to concerts every year until you get those options. Movie JunkieGo to 5 movies in one lifeMoviegoerGo to a movie Go to the movies every year. It's good for your relationship if you go with somebody. Fame Brightest StarAchieve maximum fame Actor, model, writer, athlete career path. Keep doing every bonus thing (talk shows, books, pose nude, commercials) and verify on social media. CenterfoldPose for Wank magazine Agree to pose nude every time until you get it. I think this one has women mostly but I can't remember. EndorserGet paid $2m for a commercial Easy if you're a high paid actor or model doing an international commercial. K-PopBecome a famous Korean singer See my wealth advice. Follow it with the "background singer" career and start in Korea. Fertility DNA DonorMake 25 sperm donations in one life This one is hard b/c you can only do it once a year and only until a certain age. So start at 18 and don't stop. I think you have to be American. Maybe UK and Canada too? Not legal everywhere. Try not to miss a year. Fabulously FertileHave 10 children in one lifeFertile MyrtleMother 25 children in one life Meditate every year. Start at 18. You have to be cis. Eat healthy and exercise. Get boyfriends and have unprotected sex with them so you don't get STDs. You can be a mother up until like 51 if you're healthy and lucky. Keep having sex until you get pregnant. Smart SeedGet artificially inseminated with lawyer sperm Start at 18. You have to be cis. Be fertile (tips above). Keep pulling up the option to get artificially inseminated until a lawyer comes up. Don't listen to your partner if they don't want you to do it LOL. Super SpermHave 100 children in one life Be a cis dude. Meditate. Be handsome. Have a million girlfriends. Use the dating app to keep dating young women. Don't abandon any kids but leave girlfriends as soon as they're pregnant. Hire every surrogate that will take you if it's legal. Sue them for the max ($200k) if they bail (not miscarry). Three's CompanyHave triplets Sometimes this happens if you're a dude with luck or while you're doing Super Sperm. Sometimes if you're a woman it's luck too or when you do IVF with your partner's sperm or other artificial insemination. Military Career MilitaryServe your full career in the military Tips for staying alive below. Retire as soon as you can. GeneralAchieve the rank of general in the military Be a good Army person. Grind at work like 5x a year. Keep in shape. Be nice to your seargeant. AdmiralReach the rank of admiral in the military Be a good Navy person. Grind at work like 5x a year. Keep in shape. Be nice to your seargeant. Absent Without LeaveGo AWOL in the military Be deployed with an addiction and check into rehab. Whoops. ExcavatorClear 10 minefields Be deployed, and use a minesweeper solver to not die if you suck at minesweeper. Pet Adopt Don't ShopRescue every pet in the shelter You gotta have a few houses. Then you're good. You gotta do it all in one year so have like a lot of houses. Like 5 at least. Tips for getting rich above. Horsing AroundOwn 50 horses in one life You gotta have a bunch of ranches. Buy a few horses a year. Tips for getting rich above. Just Keep SwimmingBuy a goldfish and release it. You can do this one as a kid too if your parent gets you a goldfish. Natural SelectionRescue every pet in the shelter This one took forever. Just keep buying dangerous exotic pets and rescuing every dangerous animal you see. It's luck. No ProbllamaBuy a Llama Buy a ranch in Afghanistan. Go pet shopping. Prison AftermathEscape prison in a riotInstigatorPrison riot Get good at Snake. Keep rioting. Works best in low security. Takes a couple tries, kind of luck. Behind BarsSpend 50 years in prisonTrue Lifer75 years in prison Do a murder in a country without the death penalty (Canada). Murder with full health at 18. Get a prison job. Meditate and work out every year. Keep your head down. Try half-heartedly to escape every once in a while so you don't accidentally get parole or something. But if you get out you can always go back. Rob a bank or something. But keep your health and behaviour up in case you get sick and need to go to the infirmary. GangstaJoin a prison gang Go to a medium or higher security prison. InmatingGet a lover pregnant on a conjugal visit Be a cis man with high fertility. Have a good relationship (80%+) with an 18 year old cis woman. Make sure she isn't on birth control. Do a small crime, get a prison job, and meditate. Request a conjugal visit. JusticeGet freed from prison by appeal Be rich. Wait a couple years after you're sentenced for something non-violent. Mercy MeGet granted clemency Be a nun or a monk for 50+ years. Don't retire. Do a murder. Get a prison job. Meditate, work out, go to the library, and write letters to home. You won't know until the year you're scheduled to die, so hold on. Midnight ExpressGet sentenced to Turkish prison Be born in Turkey. Do a crime. TheseusEscape a supermax prison There are a ton of Bitlife prison guides. Do a murder and escape from death row. Royalty ExecutionerExecute 5 people Be king. Or queen. Top dog, either way. It helps to have enemies or friends to make enemies. MarkleMarry into the royal family Be a commoner in a country with royals. Be cute. Go on lots of dates. It'll pop up and be part of their name. They could be a viscount or whatever, no member of the royal family is too far removed. MonarchBecome a monarch Start as prince or princess and inherit the throne. NapoleonGet exiled to a distant land Keep executing people. And do a bunch of disservice. Reign Over UsReign as monarch for 100 years In a country where Prince/Princess is top monarch or where your king/queen parents are low health/dying, keep your health up until you're a super-centarian (see above). Sports CantonGet inducted into the football hall of fame Be a great football player. Be famous. Play as long as you can. Keep being famous after football as long as you can. I stopped being famous at 40 and got inducted at 60. ChristianoWin the Ballon d'Or Be a European soccer player. Keep winning championships (see below). Full RideWin an athletic scholarship Start playing sports in middle school. Become captain of at least one team with a pro league. GiggsyWin 13 career championships You can train each stat up twice in a turn if you trade teams, but you'll lose respect, so pick your moments. Grind your whole life. Keep going to the gym. Trade teams when you guys start losing. Stay on top. HookerYell at a leopard Try out for professional rugby with high athletic stats. Choose Hooker as your position. LanceWin a championship while doping It's safest to dope the year after a drug test. Try it for your second or third championship. Real Estate House HunterMake $2m from flipping a house Buy a $2m house. Leave it to your kid. Sell it. See above. Mansion PartyThrow a party in a mansionReal Estate MogulPurchase real estate worth $10m combinedTrailer PartyParty in a trailer Pretty straight forward. If you're broke start with the trailer party. Then buy mansions. Advice for getting rich above. School Brothers ForeverGet hired by a frat brother Be a jock. See sports advice above. When you're in two sports at university, compliment the jocks' leader. Be good looking (plastic surgery if needed, see above) and google the answer to the question if you need it. Google high-level frats and pick one. Then when you get hired after school one of them might hire you! Earning that ASeduce your teacher Be really attractive and compliment your teachers who are attracted to people of your gender. Take the opportunity to sleep with them if it arises. Naughty ChildGet expelled from school Be rude as hell to the principal/headmastedean Swimming Star Start swimming as young as you can and stay in shape. "Work harder" every year. Social Media Social MediaJoin social mediaSocial Media SharerPostSocial Media OversharerPost 5 timesSocial Media StarGet a million followersCheck!Get verified Join all social media platforms at 13. Be pretty and keep posting. Follow above advice to get famous in any public career to get more followers. Start with Instagram for verification around 100k. By the time you're a lead actosupermodel/etc you'll have 1m followers. Vehicle AntiquedKeep a car running for 200 years. Buy a brand new car. Do maintenance twice a year. Pass it on to your kid (18+) and repeat. Car collectorAssemble a car collection worth $1mLamboBuy a Lamborghini Buy a lambo and a bunch of other fancy cars. Who cares. See advice above for money. Not The Yellow OneBuy a submarine You need $5b for this to show up reliably. Titanic TroubleRun into trouble on a yacht Have a shitty yacht or shitty luck. Go for a bunch of rides. Animal Animal RescueRescue an animal Helps to have 100% smarts. Read childrens books so you don't have to tap too many pages. It'll only take two or three. Deaf LeapordYell at a leopard Buy a leopard from the exotic animals dealer and yell at it when it misbehaves. Gorilla and the FistGet decapitated by a gorilla I had to buy so many gorillas from the exotic animals dealer to get one crazy enough to decapitate me. Just keep bathing it and letting it attack you every year until it kills you. UnicornFind a unicorn Go for like 10 walks a year. Have good karma. Hungry Hippo !!! NEEDED !!! Apparently Egypt is good for this. Lion Tamer !!! NEEDED !!! Apparently Kenya is good for this. Crime Balcony BuccaneerSteal 100 packages in one life It's a lot easier to avoid punishment by wielding your title if you're a monarch. This one took me ages as a civiliian. BurglarBurgle 25 homes in one life Play Snake well Cold KillerKill 10 people in one lifeSerial KillerKill 25 people Start with random homeless people. If you're a royal exert your title to avoid punishment. Keep buying your way out of prison as long as you can. Then start killing other prisoners, start with the oldest and work your way down to the strongest ones. Work out and meditate every year. Pay guards for protection if you can but you probably won't be fucked with if you keep strong and murderous. DillingerRob 5 banks in one life If you're royal you'll get away with it. Make sure you have a getaway car either way. Clown mask/closest equivalent and handgun/closest equivalent work best. Scare to DeathScare someone to death Do a murder but pick scare to death. Works best if they're old. Bugatti Bandit !!! NEEDED !!! Going Anywhere !!! NEEDED !!! LOVE Black WidowWidow 5 husbands in one life Start using the dating app when you're 18 and go for old guys. Best if they don't have kids and if they're rich. Propose after you fuck when your relationship is at 100%. I like to be on birth control for this. Golden AnniversaryBe in a marriage for 50 yearsDiamond AnniversaryMarriage for 75 years Keep seeing movies together and fucking and complimenting each other. Cute as hell. Just marry young and try to both stay alive. Fake ItPropose successfully with a fake ring Works best if you're rich and they love you and they're dumb. Family PlannerConvince a lover to go off birth control Be a cis man. Be in a strong relationship with a cis woman. Ask her to go off birth control. Easiest if you're married to her. Maiden NamedMarry a man who takes your last name Marry a man and don't change your last name. Kind of a luck thing. Make sure your relationship is strong. MultigamistGet married 10 times in one life Pre-nups and widowing make this easier but do you. Love them and leave them. If you're a young guy it's really easy to get older women to agree to marry you. StudHave 100 lovers in a single life Hook up like crazy. Date all you can and fuck all of them. Use protection so you can stay alive. Wedding PlannerAgree to an arranged marriage I did this in India as a woman with wealthy, religious parents. Bejeweled !!! NEEDED !!! General All AlongHave a parent who comes out of the closet Could be luck. Or you can cheat it with a Bitizenship by making both parents gay and unreligious. BegoneExorcise your own ghost Be an exorcist. Buy a haunted house. Do what you do best. Booty CallHave a successful Brazillian butt lift Be healthy and have good karma. Use the best doctor. Cross your fingers. They still only work 1/3 of the time. Cliff DiverGo cliff divingHeroSave someone's lifePlayer PerksAccept a casino's hospitality offerSnake SnackEat a snakeZAP!Get struck by lightning Random event Dignified DonorDonate a 1m+ heirloom to charity Get your heirloom every day. Appraise it. Donate the first $1m+ one you get. Flamin' HotSurvive 60 years on a Hot Cheetos diet Get liposuction every couple of years and work out and walk a lot. Have no other conditions. Do your best. Get pets for more walks. Garden. Try to survive. Start at 18. Flee the CountryEmigrate to escape justice Escape prison and emigrate FrankensteinSurvive 5 botched plastic surgeries Keep going to the bad doctor. Go for risky procedures like butt lifts. Space them out to get your health back up. Goat GrabberJoin a goat grabbing team Be athletic and join a goat grabbing team at school in Afghanistan Human DictionaryRead the dictionary So much tapping. But eventually it will show up in your books. Be strong. HyperthymesiaScore 20 sequences on the memory test The worst part of Bitlife. I did this one by writing 1,2,3 or 4 on a piece of paper according to which # square lit up with my right hand and doing the puzzle on my phone with my left hand. Still took like 5 tries and was really frustrating. Take breaks and come back with a clear head. JackpotWin the lottery jackpot Keep your karma high and buy 10 tickets 5 times a year. You'll get it eventually. LowrollerGet refused entry to a casino Bet more money than you have on Blackjack. Once you're out of prison, try to come back. They'll turn you away. NightmareWake up from a nightmare As a pilot, buy a terrible plane. When it crashes, accept your doom. You might wake up. ParanightmareContract PTSD after a paranormal experience Try to have bad mental and good physical health (a hard balance. Try gardening, dieting, and fighting with friends or loved ones) and then try to exorcise stubborn ghosts. PerfectionAchieve perfect stats Pretty easy. Work out, get plastic surgery (lipo or nose job to start) and go for walks, read children's books (3 should get you to 100%) and go to the movies or on vacation. Rich JusticeWin a $1m+ lawsuit Get fired from a really high paying job like CEO and win your lawsuit. Run Bitizen!Win a bet on BitizenThere's Always CanadaEmigrate to CanadaWinnipeg, Eh?Visit Winnipeg Wait until it pops up as an option Say Goodbye To HollywoodGet deported from the United States Move to the U.S. without permission. Get caught doing a minor crime. SkeezyGet called "skeezy" Be an asshole at nightclubs and in the streets. Fight with your friends and coworkers, insult them and start rumours. SweepstakesWin the sweepstakes Set it up on a day where you'll be by your phone. Sign up every time you can. Try & Stop MeViolate a restraining order Stalk your ex. Do it again after they file a restraining order. Ultimate BetrayalYour spouse leaves you following a gender reassignment Have a terrible relationship with your heterosexual spouse. Get gender reassignment surgery. UnethicalBribe a college official Be rich and have dumb kids. Roswell !!! NEEDED !!! Sacrilege !!! NEEDED !!!
I'm gonna pop off for a second. ZERO of these cucks care ANYTHING for you or your grandma, how do I know? Because they never complained about the gambling industry.
Gambling addiction has been shown to have the same pharmacological effects as opiates.
Casinos are designed to disorient and confuse patrons, from the lighting and carpeting to the key of machine sounds.
Nevada had the highest suicide rate in the nation from 1990-1994, according to statistics from the CDC.
In Gulfport, Mississippi, suicides increased by 213 percent in the first two years after casinos arrived. In neighboring Biloxi, suicide attempts jumped by 1,000 percent in the first year alone.
The National Council on Problem Gambling, citing various studies, reports that one in five pathological gamblers attempts suicide, a rate higher than for any other addictive disorder.
In the UK more than 2 million households are affected by problem gambling including 50,000 addicted minors. Suicide deaths every day increasingly include young, healthy males with good careers from stable families. This is worth reading.
Asia is even worse, with Macau generating about 8 times the revenue of Las Vegas, but Thailand, Korea, and India are also in very severe condition. Japan began the process of legalizing casino gambling in 2018, with a new agency established in 2020.
1 in 5 habitual gamblers attempts suicide
1 in 5 suicides is related to gambling (usually with no other health or psychological problems)
That's JUST the suicides. Not the drugs, prostitution, organized crime, alcohol, cigarettes, job problems, domestic problems, credit card interest, or whatever else people could be doing with their lives. It's just the suicides. Gambling was illegal in 48 states for over 100 years, but in the last ten years has risen almost perpendicularly. Ask anyone who works at a gas station or convenience store, daily lottery drawings and scratch-off tickets are almost a $100B industry - with some states legalizing lotteries as recently as January of 2020. Sports betting is almost as large, formally estimated at $85B. Casinos, together with strip clubs and the other forms of gambling listed above, are open and operating right now in states that continue to (illegally) force churches and businesses to shut down. By the way.
This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 64%. (I'm a bot)
Dave Prowse, the Bristolian former bodybuilder best known for playing Darth Vader in the original Star Wars trilogy, has died aged 85. Prowse's career as an actor spanned 50 years, but it was his role as the Sith Lord in Star Wars that brought him international fame. Prowse made his film debut in 1967 James Bond spoof Casino Royale playing Frankenstein's Creature, a part he was asked to play again in two films from the iconic Hammer film series, 1970's Horror Of Frankenstein and 1974's Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell. Spotted by director George Lucas in the 1971 film Clockwork Orange, in which he played a bodyguard, Prowse was invited to audition for the roles of Darth Vader and Chewbacca in 1977's Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope. With the success of Star Wars, Prowse became a regular on the fan circuit and attended conventions around the world for almost 40 years, but he was rumoured to have later fallen out with director Lucas and was banned from official events in 2010. Despite the enduring clamour for Star Wars, the actor always maintained that playing the Green Cross Code Man, which he first portrayed in 1975, was the "Best job I ever had".
I noticed this case has never been discussed on this forum (at least according to the search I ran), and thought it deserved some attention. I recently covered this case on my podcast - yes, shameless plug - and found it to be a fascinating case. Here's a brief summary of what I learned. Liston was born poor in Arkansas. No, poorer than that. So poor that shoes were a luxury. He wasn't able to go to school so he could try to help support his huge family (he was the 24th of 25 kids). Being black, uneducated, illiterate, and dressed in rags meant he had no legitimate job options. So he turned to crime. He eventually was sent to prison for five years after being convicted of armed robbery. In a very real way, this was a blessing for Liston. It was the first time in his life he didn't have to worry about food or clothes. He actually had free time. He used that time to box, and the prison gym's sponsor, Father Stevens, noticed the kid had talent. No one could beat him in the prison. So Father Stevens began training Liston to become a professional boxer. When Liston was released, he immediately turned to boxing. But he had a tough time finding opponents. Why? He was too scary looking. No one wanted to be in the ring with him. He needed a professional manager to make a career of this sport and soon found one - in the mob. With the mob's backing, Liston quickly developed a reputation as a fearsome, almost unstoppable warrior. Besides, the mob controlled boxing during this era (1950s-late 1960s) There is also some evidence he may have provided a few non-boxing services for the mob too. Liston eventually becomes the heavyweight champ, and then loses his title to Muhammad Ali. In their rematch, Ali won by KO that many people believe to this day was a dive ordered by the mob. Liston apparently understood that by taking a dive, the theory goes, he would earn a percentage of all of Ali's future purses. But this loss essentially ended Liston's career. He ended up moving to Las Vegas and immediately fell in with a bad element to make some extra cash. Shocking, the mob took advantage of this uneducated man and managed to skim every dollar they could from him. Liston was known to serve as hired muscle and deal cocaine in Vegas to supplement his legit income, which was appearing at casinos and shaking hands at conventions. Liston became bitter and started making enemies. First, he turned on the mob for not taking care of him and may have threatened to expose some information the mob didn't want public. He also was talking too much about Ali allegedly screwing him out of his cut of Ali's earnings, which upset the Nation of Islam. Further, Liston was involved in an incident where he was at a known drug den that was raided and all went to jail but for Liston, leaving the head of the operation (Earl Cage) with a need for revenge on the only obvious snitch. Towards the end of Liston's life, those in the know in Las Vegas knew it was only a matter of when someone would take out Liston. He died at the very end of 1970. His wife found him dead upon returning from a trip to visit her mother for Christmas. Police quickly developed the theory Liston had OD'ed on heroin based on needle marks in his arm and a balloon of the junk in the kitchen. But there were no needles present at the crime scene. The interim coroner, who had very little experience, ruled the death one of natural causes. No one buys either theory. Journalist Shaun Assael was gifted a police file from an anonymous source that indicated former LVPD officer Larry Gandy was hired to kill Liston. Gandy was no angel and committed plenty of crimes, both in uniform and out, but when interviewed by Assael denied being involved in Liston's death. He pointed the finger at Cage and his desire for revenge, though it is slightly odd Cage would wait two years to enjoy his dessert. Plenty of people also believe the mob did it since Liston was quickly turning from an asset to a liability. Even though everyone believes Liston was murdered, there was no evidence of a potential homicide other than the needle marks. Interestingly, forced overdoses were a popular form of execution employed by the mob during this time as it did not draw as much attention from police as a traditional gang-land style shooting. Yet because Liston's death was ruled one of natural causes, no homicide investigation was ever conducted. As prominent figures from that time period are dying off, it's entirely possible the truth will never be uncovered. And this is a story with rabbit trails one could research for years. Why did the Las Vegas Sun report that Liston met with an undercover narcotics officer the day before his death? Why did Liston's wife wait so long to call the police after finding her husband dead? What was the story with Assael being slipped records from an unknown source? Why does the state of Nevada have no records concerning Liston's death? It's a crazy tale. One involving a very popular American athlete with so many crazy twists. It's sad to know that we will likely never know what truly happened to Sonny Liston. SOURCES: https://medium.com/@brightonboy1901/the-mysterious-death-of-sonny-liston-a-boxing-conspiracy-4138ac4e2202 https://www.bbc.com/sport/boxing/48974341 https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/general/others/boxing-sonny-liston-was-murdered-by-mob-claims-hitmans-son-8803558.html https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/mvk7jn/who-killed-former-heavyweight-champion-sonny-liston https://www.wbur.org/onlyagame/2017/02/03/sonny-liston-shaun-asasel-book-boxing
[REPOST of this.] LAST UPDATED: 09/13/2020 ~ Lion Tamer achievement has link to a new post I created with notes and how-to guide.
Monarch: become a king or queen.
Optional: in god mode, you can select the royalty status of a new life. Select prince/princess, and kill your parents later in life or wait until they die until you inherit the throne. If you happen to have older siblings, kill them off.
Executioner: execute 20 people. It can only be done as king or queen. Edit: this can be done multiple times in one year. Depending on the country, people may revolt against you which can lead to exile. If you want to avoid this, be a king/queen in Saudi Arabia. Thank youu/Scarlet_Hare.
Napoleon: get exiled by repeatedly executing people or selecting public disservice. Do this until your respect is at 0%. The people will revolt against you, and you will be exiled.
Reign Over Us: reign as a monarch (king/queen) for 100 years. To do this, become king/queen. Have a child, and kill your spouse immediately. Then surrender. The child will automatically become the king/queen. Live for 100 years by keeping your health up by following the steps under the Longevity section. Make sure to keep your respect high by doing public services.
Markle: be a female, live in the UK, have high looks to become a famous (edit: you can become a famous actress but it's not required. Thank youu/notoriousbaby), and use the dating app REGULAR dating tab, NOT dating app, to date and marry into the royal family.
Keep your health up by going to the gym, meditating, taking walks, and going to the doctor when you're sick.
The fastest way to become wealthy is to become a famous actor or famous writer. I also recommend living in countries that don't have estate tax such as Germany, Sweden, Monaco, & Norway. Start off with high looks for actor or high smarts for writer. Join social media & post every year. When you become famous, do a commercial every year. While there are other high paying jobs such as porn star, model, and music composer, I do not recommend these because you won't be able to make much extra money on the side. For porn star and model, you can do photo shoots, but they don't pay nearly as much as commercials do.
Become wealthy using the advice for wealthy achievements. For flipping houses, buy equestrian properties & keep renovating them when necessary. If you buy an equestrian property in your 20s, by the time you're in your 70s-80s, the net worth of the property will increase by a few millions.
Become famous and post every year. When your fame bar is at 75%, request verification.
Animal rescue: take an animal to a shelter.
Deaf leopard: buy a leopard from the exotic pet dealer & yell at it when it misbehaves.
Jack of all trades: have 10 different jobs in one life. Apply for jobs that don't require a degree and stay for a few years (I stayed for 2 years).
Candy-writer: be born in MIAMI (NOT Tuscon) with high smarts. Major in computer science and get a job as an app tester with BITLIFE. DO NOT GET A JOB WITH CANDY-WRITER. THE COMPANY SHOULD SAY BITLIFE.
Last resort: have high looks. Use god mode to edit your boss to have 0% professionalism, 0% strictness, 0% willpower, and 100% coolness.
While you have good performance at work, seduce your boss.
If done successfully, lower your performance percentage bar by insulting and pulling pranks on coworkers.
When a pop up shows up saying you've been fired, beg your boss for another chance, & try to seduce them again.
People person: if you have trouble befriending your coworkers, use god mode to set their craziness to 0%, coolness to 100%, willpower to 0%, and low professionalism.
Medieval weapon: insult people until someone attacks you with a medieval weapon.
Armed & Dangerous: Tiger Claw Strike (Kung-Fu) seems to be the most deadly. Aim at the person's skull or throat.
Bubonic plague: random.
Rabies: pet stray animals that you come across. One will eventually bite you & give you rabies.
Witchcraft: avoid taking raw egg, venom, & green bubbling liquid as these are the deadliest things you can consume.
Addicted: accept all substances offered to you. Go clubbing (with high looks & low smarts) to get more access to substances.
Sickly: Get sick with 10 diseases in 1 life.
Do this by going clubbing as soon as you turn 18. Accept substances that are offered to you & hook up with random people.
Try to get as many STDs as you can including but not limited to: chlamydia, syphilis, gonorrhea, and genital herpes.
Go to the gym every year to get other illnesses such as: ringworm, staph infection, athletes foot, etc.
Note: you can also get HIV and Hep B from hook ups, but make sure to keep your health up so that you don't die from complications.
BitBoi: watch YouTube with friends until Bijuu Mike pops up.
BTS ARMY: go to a concert with a friend every year until BTS shows up.
Brightest Star: get max fame by having high looks, posting on social media, & doing commercials or photo shoots.
Centerfold: do photo shoots every year until you do one for Wank magazine.
Endorser: become a famous actor & do a commercial. These typically pay about $4,000,000
K-Pop: be born in South Korea. Have high looks, & get a job as a background singer. Work hard every year & get promoted to lead singer. Post on social media. You'll eventually become a famous pop star.
DNA donor: have high looks &/or high smarts to be allowed to donate your sperm.
Fertile myrtle: be born a female. Get pregnant as soon as you turn 18 by artificial insemination or unprotected sex. Do this every year until you have 25 children.
Smart seed: Be a female, graduate high school, and have a decent amount of money ($45k). Check the artificial insemination option. If a lawyer doesn't show up, close out of the app and restart it until a lawyer (NOT judge or paralegal) pops up.
Triplets: increase your chances by using artificial insemination.
Fake it: use god mode to lower your fiance's smarts to 0%, then propose.
Bejeweled: marry someone rich or use god mode to adjust your SO's money bar. Keep your relationship bar full.
Black widow: use a dating app to marry men 80+.
Optional: use god mode to set their health to 0%.
Diamond Anniversary: marry young & keep your health bar up. Use god mode to set your SO's health to 100% so they won't die quickly.
Family planner: set your SO's smarts & willpower to 0% & convince them to go off birth control.
Wedding planner: be born in an African country such as DR Congo. Wait until your parents arrange a marriage for you & accept. Gender doesn't matter.
Career military: serve a full career in the military. Avoid deployments by closing the app & restarting.
General: enlist as an air force, army, or marines officer. Work hard every year until you become general.
Admiral: enlist as a navy or coast guard officer. Work hard every year until you get promoted to admiral.
AWOL: get addicted to alcohol by going clubbing. Once you get addicted, go to rehab.
Excavator: to clear 10 minefields, it's best to practice minesweeper until you're good at it. This DOES NOT need to be done in one life. You can do this over multiple lives.
Escape from prison: get arrested for a petty crime & get sent to minimum or medium security prison. Use this guide to escape.
Justice: be wealthy & apply for an appeal.
Aftermath: riot every year. Each year, the number of prisoners you need increases by 5. The max is 25. Once you hit 25, keep rioting every year until you can escape.
Rioting will lower your health. Keep your health bar green by bribing the guards, going to the infirmary,working out, & meditating.
You can only escape when your health is green.
In-mating: get arrested in a minimum or medium security prison. Arrange a conjugal visit. Make sure your spouse has a high crazy level.
Mercy Me: follow the steps in the wealth achievement section. Get arrested with a long sentence. Be on good behavior by meditating every year, ignoring prisoners, & being respectful to the warden. Appeal your sentence. Note: while in prison, DO NOT join gangs, incite riots, or bribe guards.
Theseus: the easiest way to escape is by following the instructions to the aftermath achievement. Otherwise, you can check out this guide.
Naughty child: easiest way to get expelled is to enroll in college & get bad grades by not studying & skipping class.
Brothers Forever: join a frat in college by having high looks. When you graduate & look for a job, you'll be hired by a frat brother.
Earning that A: seduce your teacher by having high looks. Use god mode to change the teacher's professionalism & willpower to 0%.
Swimming Star: have high health & join the swim team in high school or college. Practice hard every year to become captain.
Get rich using the steps in the wealth section above. Obtain your pilot & boating license to complete these achievements.
Antiqued: buy a car. Get maintenance done every year. Do repairs when needed.
Cliff diving: spend time with family & friends every year until you go cliff diving.
Hero: save someone from choking.
Skeezy: insult people until someone calls you skeezy.
Snake snack: go to the witch doctor every year until she offers a snake.
Emigrate to Canada/Visit Winnipeg: check the emigrate/vacation list every year until they show up.
Zap: this one is random.
All Along: change a parent's sexuality to gay using god mode & hope they come out.
Begone: become an exorcist & buy a haunted house. Age up one year & exorcise the ghost(s).
Dignified Donor: find a $1m heirloom (random) & donate it.
Flamin' hot: sign up for the hot Cheetos diet. Keep your health up by going to the gym, meditating, & walking every year.
Flee the country: escape from a minimum or medium security prison using this & emigrate.
Frankenstein: go to a low-rated plastic surgeon and get a botched penis enlargement surgery or breast augmentation.
Note: DO NOT GO FOR A BRAZILIAN BUTT LIFT. A BOTCHED ONE CAN KILL YOU!
Human Dictionary: select the book option under mind & body until Merriam Webster Dictionary shows up, then read it.
Low-roller: lose money at the casino until you have a negative bank balance. Run from the guards. You may serve time in prison or successfully evade the guards. Try returning to the casino. You will be denied.
Nightmare: be wealthy by following the steps in the wealth section. Buy an airplane, jet, or helicopter and fly every year. Eventually a bad situation will come up and you need to pick an option. Sometimes it will turn out that the situation was just nightmare. Credit to this post. MAKE SURE TO BY A USED PLANE IN BAD CONDITION. WHEN A POP UP COMES UP, SELECT SIT BACK AND ACCEPT FATE.
Para-nightmare: live in a haunted house. When encountering a ghost/paranormal event, scream. Make sure your health is very low. You can do this by going on unhealthy diets such as Hot Cheetos or High Calorie. You can also drink alcohol. Avoid drugs so that you don't accidentally overdose.
Player perks: [will update]
Resourceful: marry a rich person that's 80+ & wait until they die OR have a low net worth & divorce them.
Rich justice: be wealthy by following the steps above in the wealth section. Sue a plastic surgeon who botched your surgery or an ex-spouse (both tend to have a decent amount of money). Sue for $1 mil and pick the most expensive law firm to represent you.
Roswell: Be wealthy by following the steps in the wealth section. Buy an airplane or jet. Fly every year OR if a prompt does not show up, close the app and restart the game until an alien encounter pops up when flying. Credit goes to this post and this comment.
Run Bitizen: go to a horse race & bet on Bitizen the horse & hope it wins.
For burglary achievements: have high smarts to increase your chances of stealing successfully.
For murder achievements: if a pop up comes up saying you've been arrested/taken to court, close out of the game & restart, then try killing again.
Adopt don't shop: follow the steps in the wealth achievements section & buy a large property (equestrian/ranch/farm). Then adopt all the pets at the shelter. There is not a limit to how many pets you can adopt if you have a large property.
Note: you will not be able to adopt if you have a criminal record.
Horsing around: buy an equestrian property so you can buy horses. Buy 50 horses in 1 life.
Just keep swimming: get a gold fish from the pet store & release it.
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